9 Aug 11

Increasing Happiness

I’ve been hearing a lot about happiness over the past year or so. I read Gretchen Rubin’s book The Happiness Project and the study that ranked the world’s countries in order of happiness (Canada came in at a respectable number 8, tied with Costa Rica, New Zealand and Israel; the US came in at number fourteen, tied with Austria), and there was also the Ted Talk from the Babble.com publishers that examined the highs and lows of happiness throughout our lives.


Happiness, I think, is both transitory and absolutely necessary. And, as a mother of a rambunctious  pre-schooler. and also in the midst  of some unknown health problem that completely saps my energy, I’m trending a little bit down in my happiness. (You can only say “no” to a pre-schooler so many times before you wish your head would just fall off.) At the same time, I have these fabulous moments of pure joy, like when we realized that Baby Man can read a few words or write his name, or when finishing a big project, or even just when my husband hugs me.

What I would love to do is find a way to bring more happiness into my life. Not necessarily those moments of pure joy, but just sort of a low level of happiness and contentment that is always with me. And, wouldn’t you know, I found the perfect post on Tiny Buddha.

What it comes down to is finding out where I am happy, what I am doing when I am happy, and what makes me unhappy. Some things I can’t change. Baby Man is a pre-schooler, and they are difficult to deal with sometimes, but I can try to change the way I deal with him. As for other things, well, I guess I have my work cut out for me.

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6 May 11

Advice from Samuel Butler

A little while ago I posted a bit about The Happiness Project and some of the guidelines I came up with for myself. One of the most important to me was “What you like is what you like, and realize it is okay to want to like things but still not like them.” And, today, just when I needed a reminder, this quote showed up in my inbox this morning, from the Happiness Project daily email:

“I should like to like Schumann’s music better than I do; I dare say I could make myself like it better if I tried; but I do not like having to try to make myself like things; I like things that make me like them at once and no trying at all.”
— Samuel Butler

It’s kind of reassuring to know that there are lots of people out there who struggle with being themselves, even successful Victorian authors.

Oh, and for the record, I actually do like Schumann’s music. ;)

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3 May 11

Protests, Earthqaukes, Weddings and More

Well, it sure has been an exciting year so far, hasn’t it? Protests in the Middle East, an earthquake New Zealand and another one in Japan that has nearly lead to a serious nuclear event, more protest in the Middle East, the royal wedding in Britain, the death of Osama bin Laden (that means terrorism is over right? Yeah, I didn’t think so), and finally, a federal election here in Canada.

At the risk of sounding trite, the world really is a small place now. A century ago, many of these events would have barely registered up here in Canada. But, today all of these events resonate deeply with us. We raise money for the earthquake victims and worry about how the potential meltdown of a nuclear reactor on the opposite side of the globe will effect our air and water. We can view a satellite picture of Osama Bin Laden’s compound on Google Maps, and watch a video of President Obama watching the mission happen. And as for the royal wedding, if you missed any part of it, just head over to YouTube and watch it until your heart’s content. (Anyone else remember having to be awake to see Diana and Charles get married?) And, thanks to CCTV, we can even see the celebrations after the fact.

The federal election is a bit of a different animal. While our political parties did make some use of the Internet in their campaign, it seemed to be more of an afterthought rather than a fully realized plan. And, there are laws in Canada that make early reporting of poll results through services like Twitter and Facebook illegal. (Actually, all early reporting is illegal. This is partly because the amount of voters living in the middle of the country. Officials do not want the results of those votes to effect how voters further west, in different time zones, vote.)

Once polls are closed, though, the  Internet comes into its own. Results are shown, comments made, videos show up on all the news sites. And, we can see who was and wasn’t elected. And, the story of last night was the Conservative majority government and how the leader of the Liberal party, Michael Ignatieff, was not elected. (He was running in my riding, which is historically strongly Liberal. But this time around a Conservative was elected.)

It will be interesting to see what the remainder of the year brings. More protests in the Middle East, I’m sure. And, hopefully they will lead to more democratic reforms. And, with luck, we may hear about a royal pregnancy. And, I’m pretty sure there will be some brouhaha up here in Canada with regards to Internet pricing and surveillance. Hopefully the outcome of bin Laden’s death will only be positive, and hopefully things in Japan continue to improve. Most of all, hopefully we all end 2011 better than we began it.

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24 Apr 11

Happy Easter

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23 Apr 11

Making Happiness a Project

I would have to say (regardless of my past few posts), overall I’m pretty happy with my life. I may, on days where I have gotten a reasonable amount of sleep, even go so far as to say I am very happy. But, like Gretchen Rubin, the author of The Happiness Project, I think happiness is something that should be worked on and courted, especially when times are good.

I’ve read The Happiness Project twice, once with a bit of skepticism, and again with an eye to giving it a try myself. A lot of the book, and a lot of the posts on Gretchen Rubin’s blog, really resonate with me. So much so, in fact, that I’ve started making notes on what I want to build my happiness project around.

  1. Be Yourself – Gretchen’s first rule is Be Gretchen, and I think that is an excellent place to start. Of course, I won’t be Gretchen, I’ll be me. And to me that means…
  2. What you like is what you like, and realize it is okay to want to like things but still not like them
  3. Going cold turkey works best for me
  4. Get lots of sleep, even it means no stitching/knitting/reading (wah!)
  5. Detailed to do lists are just too complicated for my life
  6. If it will take less than 5 minutes, just do it

It is just a start, but these are a few solid observations about my life (and what I keep trying to do wrong), that just might make me a little happier.

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13 Apr 11

Just a Hint of Fear

If you reread yesterday’s post, you might notice a bit of fear under all of the stiff-upper-lipness. Fear is something the little man inspires in me a lot. His ability to run out there (literally) and face the world head on is very frightening. It is sometimes the practical things that worry me (running into traffic) and sometimes the realities of growing up (and leave me…).

Feelings of fear

Right now, I’m sitting at the computer, listening to him slowly wake up. He’s slept about an hour and a half past his usually wake up time.In the past, that sleeping in would cause me fear. Now I see it as an opportunity to have some quiet time before the day gets busy, and sometimes also a quiet space from where I can confront my fears.

Sometimes I wish someone had warned me that being a parent is almost as much about fear as it is about love. It would have been nice to be prepared.

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12 Apr 11

Sick Day

We’ve been very lucky with the little man. In his three short years, he’s only been sick three times. Once with a minor cold, once with roseola (that was fun), and once again with a nasty cold today.

Sick little man relaxing on the sofa

Dealing with a child with a cold, especially with his first real serious cold, is an exercise in patience. He broke down in tears several times this morning because he just didn’t understand what was wrong. He kept whimpering and pointing at his nose and throat. And, while he is quite vocal and fairly good at understanding what we try to tell him, it is really hard to explain to a 3-year old why he is sick.

Thankfully, a little while after this picture was taken (and a long while after he calmed down), the little man was nearly back to normal. If I had half the energy he has when he is sick when I am well, I could take on the world!

I know this is one of the first in a long line of illness to come. Because of “advances in medicine”, we will likely get to skip over some childhood illness, like chicken pox. But, there will be colds and flus and goodness knows what else yet to come. Sometimes all it will take is some tissues and a hug to help him feel better, and sometimes it will take a whole lot more.

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31 Mar 11

Beginning to Understand Suffering

As you may have gathered from some of my previous posts, I’ve been doing some reading about Buddhism. I’ve studied Buddhism in the past, in a limited way through a university course of Japanese religions and also as part of a meditation class I took for about a year before I became pregnant with the little man. I found it very interesting, but I could never really get my head around the idea of suffering.

You see, the first Nobel Truth of Buddhism is “Life is Suffering”. I just couldn’t buy into that, since I found my life to be happy and relatively free of suffering on the whole. But, recently I came across a few different explanations of this “suffering”. The one that hit home is that suffering was the feeling of trying to hold on to things as they are, of denying the impermanence of the world, or the desire to stop change. And, as if I really needed the lesson taught to me, this past week has shown me very clearly what this type of suffering is like. There are small things and big things happening right now, changes that I wish wouldn’t come: the little man’s allergy being confirmed, a neighbour’s sister being given at most months to live after fighting her cancer for so long, a favourite local store closing. While they are obviously not all of the same level, they do all bring change, and with that change comes my desire to keep things as they were before.

I think I can understand now how life is suffering, to a certain degree. It is a suffering we bring upon ourselves by trying to hold on to something that is no longer there. Reaching and making changes os good, but trying to hold on only brings sorrow.

 

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29 Mar 11

No Peanuts, Please

It seems like the little man is going to be That Kid. You know, the one that is allergic to peanuts, so no one can have peanut butter or store bought cookies, or any of that good stuff.

Okay, that isn’t entirely true.  Yes, the little man is allergic to peanuts. We will always have to carry an EpiPen with us (the allergist suggests two in case the ambulance can’t get to us quickly enough). We will always have to read labels, and watch what he eats. One day, when he is away from home more, we may even have to get him a MedicAlert bracelet. But, because he isn’t as severely allergic as some people (e.g. people who react even to inhaled peanut dust), we have no intention of becoming draconian about it. No “No Peanuts” t-shirts for him, and no signs on our door.

I’m not sure what the future will hold. There is a small chance he will grow out of it. Or he may not. Either way, it is important that he learns to manage his own allergy as soon as he is able. It is his (and our) problem to deal with, not his school’s or anyone else.

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26 Mar 11

Spring Snow

The snow we had on Wednesday is still around, but it is melting fast. I can’t shake the feeling, though, that it is January or February. When I look out the window, I see winter, not spring.

However, if you look closely, there are some reminders that spring is well and truly here.

Tulips in the snow

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